The Budget of Paradox

Sophia, apologies for the grim and depressing post. But it’s been on my mind. The world treats everyone like shit. But you’re old enough now to know (or sorta know) that the world treats teenage girls extra shitty sometimes. I try not to think about you or Morey getting sexually harassed, but I’m sure it happens. If I can be selfish for a minute, it kills me that I can’t be there to protect my girls. Dads protect their girls. It’s right there in the job description. But all you have are some angry lesbians looking out for you. Actually, I don’t know who looks out for you.

I’m not an expert on teenage girls or the problems they face. And I have no idea what your day-to-day life is really like. But I’ve been “around the block” a few times (as the saying goes). I know how humans operate. Well, most of them. I know bullshit when I see it. I’m sure if I were involved in your life, I’d recognize trouble if I saw it.

I want to protect you. The world is a fucked-up place and, I hate to say so, but sooner or later, some shitty things will happen to you. All I can ever hope to do is prepare you, and make you strong, and teach you how to trust your instincts. As a general principle, I prefer my kids to be strong, not safe. Being safeguarded all the time won’t prepare you for anything.

I daydream about what your life must be like. I’m pretty sure you either 1) don’t care about having a father (not yet, anyway); or 2) believe I’m some stranger who’s goofy or dangerous or irrelevant or possibly all three. But, like I said, I’ve been around the block. I’ve literally been all around the world. I’ve accomplished a lot of difficult things and witnessed with my own eyes wonderful beauty as well as some horrible fucked-up shit. I’m hardly the smartest man you’ll ever meet. But surely, I’ve picked-up bits of wisdom along the way. I wish I could impart some of it to you before I die. It shouldn’t all be for nothing. You shouldn’t have to learn everything in life the hard way.