The Budget of Paradox

Sophia, everyone loves Hawaii. At least, for two weeks. Everyone wants to vacation in Hawaii to sit on the beach, go golfing, or fishing, or relax by the pool. I get it. But after two weeks, most people want to go home. Some people dream about living in Hawaii. And some actually make that dream come true. But, very often, they get “Island Fever”, and eventually feel trapped and isolated. Within a year, they’re back on the Mainland. It takes a special person to truly call Hawaii “home”.

Hawaii and I have a special relationship. In the days before the internet, I moved there when I was just 19, not much older than you are now. I didn’t know what to expect, not really. I hadn’t ever been there before. I had no one to meet me at the airport. I didn’t know where I would spend my first night. Your Nana Julie was very worried.

But when I stepped off the plane in Hilo, on the Big Island, it was raining. I tell people it was like a Baptism. I immediately felt at home. I can’t explain it. Within a few weeks, I would meet people and have experiences that would have a deep and everlasting impact on my life.

You won’t meet anyone who enjoys exploring Hawaii more than me. Soon after I arrived, I bought a 4-wheel-drive jeep and drove to remote valleys and beaches that most tourists never see. I hiked around the Big Island’s active volcano, sometimes standing a few yards from flowing lava. I went swimming at a place the locals call The End Of The World. At night, I took my girlfriend to a place called King’s Landing. I doubt you’ll find those places on any map.

When I started my pilot training, I flew around Hawaii and saw amazing places with names such as The Garden of the Gods (on Lanai) and Stairway to Heaven (on Oahu).

I grew up in New York. Your Nana Julie found this letter that I had written when I was a child, about 7 or 8 years old. I wrote that I wanted to fly, and fly to Hawaii.

Your mother once made the comment that I’m a man who only wants a few things. But, of those few things, I’m relentless; I stop at nothing until I succeed. There I was, a child growing up in New York, deciding to be a pilot in Hawaii. And I made it happen before I turned 20. Believe me, you can do anything if you put your heart into it.

You were born in Hawaii, but of course, you don’t remember. I know you got to visit Hawaii a few years ago. You told me you really liked it there. One of my dreams is to personally show you around someday. Maybe I can even fly you around. I would love to show you Hawaii through my eyes. And maybe go swimming at The End of the World.

Sophia, your mother has probably told you at some point that I’m a math weenie; I like numbers, I like math, I like calculating answers. During our divorce, your mother’s lawyer and I often disagreed about money, which, in the end, is really just about numbers. My numbers were based on reality. Her numbers were tortured (and just like people, tortured numbers will tell you anything you want to hear).

As a joke, I often say that lawyers can’t do basic arithmetic. I often found myself in a room with three lawyers, and I was the only one who could do simple math. But sometimes, it’s not a joke. Sometimes, it becomes real life.

I was watching a divorce video on YouTube, and I found this clip. The man had discovered an error in his wife’s lawyer’s calculations. The judge didn’t notice. No one noticed a gross error in the math, and when the man complains to the judge, he’s told to sit down and shut up.

Nice.

When I complain that Family Court is a joke, I’m not kidding. The judges really are this stupid.