The Budget of Paradox

At some faraway airport someday,
I’m the dog and you’re in the red dress.

Sophia, I know you can’t – or won’t – join me. But a dad can fantasize, can’t he? One of my favorite bands is playing in concert in CDMX on May 30. In fact, it’s not far from the Condesa neighborhood where I normally stay when I’m in Mexico City. (CDMX = hip abbreviation for Ciudad de México.)

At this moment, there’s not much in this world I could imagine wanting more than to meet up with you again, and take you to a concert. I know Panic! at the Disco is more your speed. But the band playing in CDMX is Kraftwerk.

Kraftwerk… it literally means “power station” in German. They’re the Godfathers of electronic music. Maybe you’ve never heard of them, but their influence is all around in today’s synth-pop, hip hop, post-punk, techno, house music, ambient, and club music. They certainly influenced me when I tried to write music.

Today, it’s easy to write music with computers and synthesizers. But these guys were creating industrial music back when I was a child with primitive machines and even cutting audio tapes into hundreds of pieces and arranging them together by hand. They record in a studio called Kling Klang, a nod to their early low-tech instruments to make high-tech music. I saw them in concert in San Francisco 25 years ago at the famous Warfield Theater. I loved the show. For a while, they sent robots out on stage to perform.

I always liked the name “Kling Klang” even if it’s just their studio.

There are so many Kraftwerk songs I can suggest that you listen to. I’ll reduce it to three:
The Robots
Numbers
Tour de France

Their music might not be your cup of tea. But your dad likes technology and automation and industrial music. Get to know a little Kraftwerk and you get to know a little bit of me.

Again, they’ll play in concert on May 30 in CDMX. I’ve pointed out before that you can be in Mexico City in just a few hours. Flights go from Lynchburg to Charlotte and Charlotte directly to Mexico City. Sometimes, as I fall asleep, I dream about seeing you walking out of some airport somewhere someday to see me. There really isn’t much I’d like more than to see you. And if I could take you to a Kraftwerk concert, that would probably just make my head explode with joy.

And afterwards, we can go eat Tacos Gobernador at Pueblo Chico’s and you can practice your Spanish. Se me hace agua la boca.

Sophia, Honolulu is a fun town. Or at least, it can be. Did you know that I lived there for a year? It was the year before I met your mom. Of course, before then, and since then, I’ve visited Honolulu many times. I still easily know my way around. But living there for a year was kinda fun. I learned plenty of ‘local’ knowledge, like where to eat, where to shop, where to relax, and most importantly, where to park. It’s little bits of knowledge the tourists never learn.

There are all kinds of fun little spots in Honolulu. I used to work just two blocks from Ala Moana Center. So, on my lunch hour, I often walked there just to walk around. My favorite place to eat at Ala Moana – Poi Bowl – is still there. Kalua Pig & Cabbage. Hawaii Beef Curry. Lau Lau. I’d love some of that right now.

Where the Kalaha Surf Shop is now, there used to be a little Japanese bakery that sold interesting little pastries, still hot from the oven.

I used to have a dog named Blythe. We would go on long walks at night. Next to the Honolulu Police Department on Beretania Street, there’s a large park and I’d let her run free there.

Of course, your sister was born in Honolulu. She was born in the same hospital as President Barack Obama. But when she was little, she would add, “Allegedly!” when I made the claim; it was a nod to the time she spent with Papa Bear. He sometimes believed in the idea that Obama wasn’t really born in Hawaii. It made me laugh when Morey said that.

I got my pilot’s license in Honolulu. I used to know the interisland terminal very well, like the back of my hand. It’s hard to believe now, but back in 2000 and 2001 (before 9/11), Aloha Airlines sold monthly passes for unlimited use. You didn’t even need a reservation; you could literally show up at the airport and board the next flight. I lived on Kauai then with your mother. On Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays, I would wake up early on Kauai, catch the first flight to Honolulu, get to the flight school and do training flights for an hour or two, then get back to Kauai before lunch. In one month, I probably flew on 35 or 40 interisland flights. Once, just for fun, when I got back to Kauai, your mom and I spontaneously flew to the Big Island. Along with my training flights that day, I actually visited all six major islands in one day (Kauai, Oahu, Molokai, Lanai, Maui, Big Island)!

I’d love to show you around Honolulu. You were meant to grow up in Hawaii. I wanted to raise children and I never wanted to leave Hawaii. I expected you to be raised there. And I expected you to learn to drive there. And have your first job there. And fall in love there. And get your heart broken there. And swim and surf and camp there. And maybe fly a plane there. And become an adult there with all the ups and downs of life. And someday leave for the Mainland, but always think of Hawaii as your home. And always come home. I wanted those things for you.

Maybe I’ll post some photos of Honolulu later. In the meantime, here are some Google Images of Honolulu.

I’m a strong man and I’ve worked very hard to have the future that I wanted. For many years, I had the power to shape my own destiny. Not many men get that chance. But raising my kids in Hawaii was apparently a bit too much to ask for. I’m sorry for that. I really am.

And when people console me by saying, “Well, Lynchburg is nice, too”, I think they have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.

Sophia, One of my favorite movies is called Heat. It’s from 1995. It’s a crime drama about a group of bank robbers. But it’s arguably a neo-Western; it’s filled with Old West themes. The two protagonists are a relentless police detective and a criminal mastermind who, throughout the movie, trade places between the story’s hero and antihero, and recognize themselves in the other.

The movie was written and produced by Michael Mann, who is one of my favorite producers. He’s best known for a TV series called Miami Vice. It was popular when I was in high school. I wonder if you’ve ever seen any clips – or even heard of it. Micahel Mann focused on imagery, emotions and energy instead of characters and words. Some scenes were intense and heartbreaking. At the time, it was amazing and new.

Anyway, in Heat, there’s a scene where a bank robber is buying information about a bank. He’s buying all kinds of information such as times and dates of cash deliveries, and information about the security systems. The man selling the information is a formal signal intelligence officer who has since become disabled and works for himself at home. As he describes in the video clip below, signals intelligence refers to grabbing the information that “just flies through the air” in radio waves. “I know how to grab it.”

This was 1995. The internet was only one or two years old then. And he’s right, back then, plenty of information was sent over radio towers and very little of it was encrypted or protected. If you had the right kind of antenna and radio, you could capture private information.

During my career, I’ve never formally worked in signal intelligence, but I have worked on plenty of radio systems that can grab private information from the air waves. So, I enjoy this clip. (BTW, did you ever hear the music I made from cell phone calls that I intercepted with a radio? Check out this song.)

Also, I really admire his house. He’s up on the very top of some hill in Los Angeles, right next to the 10 Freeway. His house is bristling with antennas, no doubt listening to all kinds of radio traffic. I love the idea of a criminal signals intelligence lair, some secret hideout on a mountaintop, quietly listening to everything. Mass observation.

In real life, that house is located at 1235 Dodds Circle in Los Angeles. You can look it up. And it’s for sale right now. I looked it up on May 7, 2023, and you can see photos on the realtor’s website. The house is a little dumpy now, but still a wonderful lair.

I think that would be a cool place to live. I love the views of the freeway in the video clip.

The clip: Heat video clip

Here is the real estate listing (if it’s still available): listing

Anyway, I know you’re still a kid, sorta, and probably only interested in kid movies or comedies. But there is so much wonderful cinema I’d love to show you. Neo-Westerns, psychological dramas, black comedy (as opposed to blue comedy), Tech-noir, Femme fatale, and so much more.