The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
The fact that you were to grow up in Lynchburg wasn’t always certain. In fact, for a long time, it was unlikely. Your parents have lived in various places around the world. Due to circumstances and coincidence, things ended up like they did. Speaking for myself, I never wanted you to grow up in Lynchburg. I never had much to do with the South. As far as I was concerned, the South is a bunch of pick-up-truck-driving hillbillies who date their cousins. I mentioned this idea to your mom once. She immediately shot back: “I never dated my cousins. I had sex with them, but I never DATED them.” She was being silly and sarcastic and rubbing my nose it. Your mother had a twisted sense of humor once. And I mean that as a compliment.

Anyway, I was never convinced that Lynchburg was as great as everyone says it is. What’s really funny to me is that your mom tried to sell it as a safe place. Safer than Hawaii? Maybe a little. But certainly not safer than the places I’ve lived. I mentioned before that Abu Dhabi is nine times safer than Virginia. When Morey attended Glass High School, the school had its own murder rate. That’s unsettling.

Anyway, I’ll randomly look at the Lynchburg news from time to time. I just looked now. Guess what? Well, you might already know this. There’s a gang problem in Lynchburg. Great. That’s just great. My kids are growing up with thugs and scumbags and wanna-be gangbangers. That’s just fucking great.