The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
Do you know your cousin’s names from my side of your family? How about your aunt from my side? Or your great-uncle? Do you know anything about my side of your family? For a long time, I accused your mom of alienating you from me. But it goes beyond just me personally. You have an entire ‘other’ family besides the Moreys and the Tunkels.

I’m curious. I wonder if your mother is still pushing the story that I shook you as a baby.

Here’s a true story: almost exactly 13 years ago in the Fall of 2010, I was working in Afghanistan but I came back to Lynchburg for two weeks. Your mom was having a medical procedure. After her procedure, she was given powerful drugs – narcotics – to help knock her out so she could sleep. One afternoon, after she took some narcotics, I put you down in your crib to take a nap. But you only slept for 10 or 15 minutes. When you woke up, I quickly dashed upstairs to try to soothe you so you wouldn’t wake up your mom.

But she woke up anyway. And I guess she figured I was incapable of handling a baby, so she got up and came to your room. I was already there, and I encouraged your mom to go back to sleep. All of this is true. It’s undisputed.

But when we were getting divorced four years later, your mom testified under oath (which means she promises to tell the truth in court) that she found me shaking you. Literally, she says I was shaking my own baby like a Polaroid picture, simply because she woke up. Because, you know, I guess I’m the kind of fucking asshole that shakes a baby when it won’t sleep. That was her story.

I’m sure you know by now that shaking a crying baby is more than just wrong. It’s selfish, stupid, criminal and potentially dangerous. Shaken babies die. It takes a real coward, a real piece of shit, to shake a baby. But that’s what your mom said.

While she was under oath, she was asked if she had X-rays or a CAT scan performed on you. Those are standard procedures for a shaken baby. She said no. She was asked if she took you to the hospital. Answer was no. “Ever taken Sophia to see a doctor for being shaken?” No. “Ever call the police or get a restraining order against the dad for being violent?” No. “Ever tell anyone about the shaking? Your sister, your mother, your best friend, your marriage counselor, your psychologist, the police, the schools, the teachers, the doctors, ANYONE?” No.

When the military investigated me because I needed a higher security clearance, they interviewed your mom. She said I was a great dad. I have copies of their interview.

So, to re-cap, while taking narcotics, she thinks she saw me shake you. But for four years, FOUR YEARS, she didn’t tell anyone, not a single soul. The first person she told was her divorce lawyer, and only after we had a disagreement about money. And during those four years, I had unrestricted access to you and Morey. I took you overnight, unsupervised, plenty of times.

And yet, despite all of this, your mother expects to be taken seriously. She thought the judge was so stupid that he would actually believe her story.

This is just one piece of the puzzle. There are many more. I hope someday you can see how all the pieces fit together to show that your mom is just a bitter lady who wanted to punish me by alienating me from my kids.

I didn’t leave you. I was pushed out by scumbag lawyers and a retarded judge. I love you more than ever. I never shook you. That’s insane to even think so.

Dad

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