The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
Happy Birthday. There’s so much to say, but I can’t fit it all here. Just know that I’m thinking of you today.

I had a small gift sent to you. It arrived at your house last week.

It would be nice to know if you’ve actually received it or not.

I love you and miss you,
Dad

Sophia,
Joyous Thanksgiving, kid. I hope you have a pleasant holiday today. I wish I knew where you are right now. I’m guessing you might be helping your mom cook today. I don’t know if she makes a big deal out of Thanksgiving anymore. But she did once.

When you were very little, I have memories from the house on Willow Lawn Drive. I remember your mom sending me out to buy the ingredients for brining the turkey. I had to go to Home Depot for one of those big orange buckets. Most of the ingredients, such as rosemary and apple cider, were easy to find. But getting juniper berries took some work.

Your mom used to go a little crazy making a large meal for Thanksgiving; she insisted on cooking everything homemade.

I’m not complaining. There are certainly worse habits. It’s just a memory.

No turkey for me today. I’m in some warm, distant city among people who don’t know anything about Thanksgiving (but, bizarrely, they have Black Friday here).

I miss you especially on the holidays.

With love,
Dad

Sophia,
As you’re getting older, I wonder if you drink coffee. I think Morey started drinking coffee when she was your age. As far as I know, she just drank black coffee and that was it. But then again, I haven’t talked to her in a long time. Based on what I know about the USA, I thought it was standard for white suburban teenage girls to have a love for Starbucks. When she was your age, I figured Morey would have a favorite drink from there, such as cappuccino or latte or a flat white or a mocha or a cold Nitro. My personal default is a cafè latte with hazelnut flavoring. A latte is just espresso and steamed milk.

I was in Brazil last year. There, they have café com leite, which basically translates to “coffee with milk”, but it’s made with very strong espresso. They were wonderful, especially from the street vendors. In Asia, they sweeten it with condensed milk. It smells amazing.

Anyway, many years ago, I gave Morey a gift card to Starbucks. She told me she had no idea what to get, so she ordered plain hot tea. I was really surprised. I guess my understanding of white suburban teenage girls is somewhat lacking.

Feeding an addiction to Starbucks is not entirely a good idea. It’s a nice treat once in a while, but some people go every day. It gets expensive. Plus, some of the coffee drinks practically become warm milkshakes when you add lots of cream and sugar. It destroys whatever health benefits coffee has. It’s far cheaper to learn to make their drinks at home.

I like a little sweetener in my coffee. But it’s great to drink black coffee sometimes. Coffee has an actual taste. Most people drown it with sugar. And the idea of drowning coffee in sugar and flavorings is not for everyone. About 25 years ago, one my favorite comedians angrily complained that it was getting more and more difficult to find what he called “coffee-flavored” coffee. Give it a listen. It’s pretty funny.

The best place to have coffee in Paris: La Favorite Café at Hôtel Émile on Rue Malher

Kid, I’m looking forward to sipping espresso with you someday at some little cafe in Paris or Abu Dhabi and laughing about coffee-flavored coffee.

Dad

Sophia,
Do you enjoy hiking? I suspect that you don’t get to go hiking very often. It’s too bad. When I was in Iraq many years ago, I sent Morey Percy a book on hiking trails in Virginia. There are some really spectacular trails in the mountains near the Virginia - West Virginia border. I even had a nice tent back then. I don’t go camping often, but I know how. I thought a long hike would be nice. I wanted Morey to pick out a trail for us.

But she wasn’t very interested. We never hiked anywhere after I came back from Iraq.

Two years ago, I invited you to hike Mount Kilimanjaro. I still think it would be amazing, but I know it’s probably a little extreme. It’s hardly a hike for beginners. If you wanted to try it someday, I could make it happen.

There is a long hiking trail in Spain and France called Camino de Santiago, sometimes simply called “The Way”. It’s an ancient trail laid-out by religious pilgrims, but still in use today. I’ve hiked parts of it. Maybe someday you and I could hike the rest of it.

There’s a hiking trail in South America with the rather innocent name of “Circuit W”. It’s neither strenuous nor difficult.

A simple name… BUT THE VIEWS!. Check it out. Toto, you’re not in Kansas Lynchburg anymore!

My dear Sophia, I want you to see and experience great things. I want you to experience something difficult, dirty, exhausting and far from your comfort zone. I want you to know what I know: That returning home is the most difficult part of a great hike; You will have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits. It changes who you are.

I miss you.
Dad

Sophia,
When I made the previous post, the Taylor Swift concert idea was just a fleeting thought. But the more I think about it, I get excited and I hope it’s something we can really do. I looked up the 2024 European tour dates. She’s playing Paris on May 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th. By then, your school year will almost be over. If you took off just 2 or 3 days from school, we could make it long weekend in Paris.

Unfortunately, there are no concerts during your Spring Break (April 1 to 5).

If your mom refuses to let you miss any school to meet me, Taylor Swift is playing in France again on June 2 and 3. By then, you’ll be out of school. Plus, it’s well before the Summer Olympics in Paris; they start in late July. I wouldn’t want to be there during the games.

Over the summer, she’s playing in other European cities: Zurich, Milan, Amsterdam, and others. I really like Amsterdam. I’d love to show you around. Plus, it’s one quick train ride to Paris.

You and I have a lot of things to talk about. We need to make up for a lot of lost time together. I promise you’ll have a great time. I hope you give this some thought. Flying off to Europe to meet your dad and going to a Taylor Swift concert probably seems like a big deal. It is a big deal. But not so big that it can’t be done. I’m asking you to trust me. I’ve never hurt you or your sister, despite the fantastic dreams of your mom’s lawyer.

Commit to this. And I’ll commit to you. We can make this happen.

Unless, of course, you’re not a Swiftie. But in that case, we can certainly sort out something else.

I love you so much,
Dad

p.s. If flying alone scares you, bring your Aunt Kimberly. I’ll pay. I suggested this once before to your mom, but she’s not interested in solutions, only problems. You’re old enough to fly alone. If your mom drives you to Washington, DC, you can fly non-stop to any big European city. With a non-stop flight, obviously you can’t get lost or miss a connection. But if you’re willing to make one connection, it’s possible to fly from Lynchburg to Charlotte to a variety of European cities. Connecting in Charlotte is pretty easy. The point is, you’re closer than you think. You can be in Lynchburg for breakfast and be in Europe for dinner. I’ll meet you anywhere.