The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
This blog is about you. But, today, I need to acknowledge something just for me. As you probably know, before I met your mother, I was married to another woman. She died in a car accident 153 days after we were married.

We were married 30 years ago tonight.

Thirty years. When I say it out loud, it’s hard to believe.

We got married on the beach of the campus of the University of California at Santa Barbara, not far from the marine sciences building where she was a senior with only a few months left before graduation. My friend Dennis was the only witness. Later, we all went out to dinner at a nice restaurant in Goleta Beach Park. During dinner, Dennis told dirty jokes. It was a nod to the traditional role of a Best Man. The idea of a Best Man started in Medieval times when weddings would hire a jester to tell off-color jokes. This was done to draw the attention of the Devil away from the newly-married couple.

Robin and I kept our marriage a secret from our friends and families. I remember calling your Nana Julie the next morning to tell her.

30 years

I don’t expect you to care very much about someone you never met. Why would you? But she was a good person. She was kind to animals and old people. She had a good heart. Sometimes, I would drive six hours just to have lunch with her. I miss her very much.

Appreciate the people you love while they’re still alive.

Dad