The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,

It’s your Nana Lee’s birthday today. You should call her.

Joe, Nana Lee, your mom, me, Maddie Dog, Pearl Dog, and Blythe Dog celebrate my birthday in the year 2000.

I’m good at remembering dates. I have always had a good memory. I remember the birthday of my first girlfriend in high school. I remember license plates of cars that I owned years ago. And old phone numbers. I remember your mother’s Social Security Number. I’m just good at remembering numbers. Anyway, I remember Nana Lee’s birthday. There’s no real reason; I just do.

I even know the TIME you were born. And your sister, too.

I hope you’re having a nice summer. But I watch the weather in Lynchburg and I know it’s hot and humid. I hope you’re staying cool somewhere.

Love,
Dad

Sophia,
I love you and miss you. I think of you all the time. Three years ago, I invited you to meet me in Abu Dhabi for Christmas. In fact, I made an entire website about it. I’m sure we would have had a great time. But, maybe for you, the time wasn’t right.

A man can dream, can’t he? I was dreaming yesterday that you could fly to Dubai for Christmas 2024. Why not? I mean, seriously, why not? I’ve debunked all of the crazy reasons your mom’s lawyer thought up. BION, I’m not a monster. I’m not a villain. I won’t kidnap you (or, as I like to joke, I’ll kidnap you and make you happy). Of course I’ll send you back home to Lynchburg. The flight is long, but it will be comfortable (a seat that turns into a bed). I promise you’ll have a good time. We deserve the chance to get to know each other again.

BTW, if you didn’t know, the United Arab Emirates is a small country, about the size of South Carolina. But most of the population is concentrated in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. It only takes about 60 to 90 minutes to drive between the two cities, so we’ll get to enjoy both of them. Dubai is crazy and opulent; Abu Dhabi is a bit more calm, dignified, and unhurried. But you’ll never be in a more safe country. You’ll never be with a more safe person.

See the world. It’s more fantastic than any dream.

There’s plenty of time to get a passport. There’s plenty of time to make plans. You can fly here non-stop from Washington DC.

Whatever opinions you have of me, you have to admit they’re based on nothing but conjecture and hearsay. Find out the truth for yourself. (that’s me getting philosophical… but it’s true)

Watch the video.

Read some of my posts.

Read some more.

Contact me.

By the way, I lifted the line, “kidnap someone and make them happy” from a bizarre spoken-word poem my friend Dennis sent to me many years ago.

Sophia,
In my last post, I mentioned that I was in a nice hotel with a fancy restaurant. Last night, I sat at a teppanyaki table with four other adults. I was dining alone. They were Russians, probably. I didn’t really interact with them. A man and three women. Among their orders, they had two steaks. The steaks looked like filet mignons. The chef cooked the beef and split it among them. The two women closest to me did not finish their meals. They left with plenty of beef on their plates. I was sad that so much wonderful beef was going to waste. So, when no one was looking, I stole the leftover beef from their plates. Yes, I admit it. But, damn. Throwing filet mignon in the trash. Seriously?

Later, I was shocked — horrified — to see them come BACK. Apparently, they only left to go out to smoke. They came back! Thankfully, they asked for dessert and the check, and for the dinner plates to be removed. They didn’t notice the missing beef.

Damn! Almost busted.

Had to laugh out loud at that. Of course, no one noticed I was laughing, and certainly would have no idea why…

If you didn’t know, filet mignon is an excellent cut of beef. And it’s expensive. It reminds me, I made this post last year about making your mother a steak sandwich.

Dad
beef thief

Sophia,
I wish I knew you better. I wish I knew, for example, if you like sushi. I suspect you haven’t been exposed to sushi in Lynchburg. At least not at a proper venue. Morey, Percy, whatever, she liked salmon sushi when she was younger. But I have no idea if her palate ever expanded. I would love to introduce you to sushi — proper sushi. Nowadays, seemingly any rolled food can be called sushi, which is absurd. And all these crazy rolls, with cream cheese and vegetables, are just imposters.

I’d love to show you.

Anyway, I’m reminded because last night I had toro. It’s a rare treat. It’s the fatty part of the bluefish tuna belly. Tuna sushi is easy to find. But the bluefin fatty belly is very rare and expensive. I’ve only seen it on the menu a few times. I know the expression, “melts in your mouth” is overused. But toro really does melt. It’s wonderful.

I’m still working in Africa. But I got a small break and I’m spending a few nights in nice hotel with a proper sushi restaurant.

I wonder what you’re doing this summer. I’d love to see you.

Thinking of you always,
Dad

Sophia, It’s a short video, just four minutes.

Dad