The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
Do you use Uber? It’s a legit question. Morey can drive. Percy, whatever. And she has a car (as far as I know). She could give you rides, but I suspect that she doesn’t. The last time I talked to her, she didn’t seem very interested in your life at all. I wonder if your mom would let you use Uber by yourself now.

I use Uber all the time now. The last vehicle I owned was a Mitsubishi SUV in Abu Dhabi. But I sold it. Before that, I hadn’t owned my own car in several years. For a long time, I had jobs where the employer provided a car, even for personal things like shopping and weekend trips. It was nice while it lasted. Now, I have nothing. I’m thinking of buying another car, but it’s sure nice not to worry about parking or speeding tickets — ever. And depending on where you are in the world, parking can be an extreme bloodsport. Plus, the driver and I don’t even have to speak the same language as long as I point to where I want to go on a map.

Anyway, I am just wondering if you use Uber. You’re old enough now that you probably want to get out of the house and be with your friends sometime. I’d be happy to put some Uber Cash into your account if you need it.

Quick story, kinda funny. When I fly to the UAE, I can fly into either Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Sometimes I fly to Dubai if it’s much cheaper. But then I need an Uber or taxi to Abu Dhabi. It’s a 75-minute ride, but sometimes it’s worth it. One night, I flew to Dubai, and got in the Uber, and asked if we could go to Abu Dhabi. The driver let out a big sigh, but said yes. I asked him if there’s a problem. He said I was only his third ride of the evening. And the last two rides also went to Abu Dhabi. Poor guy.

Dad

Dear Sophia,

I hope these words find you well. It’s been quite some time since we last spoke or saw each other, and I want you to know how much I miss you and think about you every day.

First and foremost, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. My love for you is unwavering and unconditional, and nothing can change that. You are my precious daughter, and my love for you only grows stronger with each passing day.

I understand that things between us have not been easy lately, and I want to acknowledge your feelings and experiences. I know that it might be hard for you to understand why we ended up in this situation, and I want you to know that I take full responsibility for my part in it. I’m truly sorry for any pain or confusion I may have caused you.

You are growing into a remarkable young woman, and I couldn’t be prouder of the person you are becoming. I admire your strength, your intelligence, and your compassion. I want nothing more than to be a part of your life and to support you in every way I can.

I know that healing and rebuilding trust will take time, and I’m willing to be patient. I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk or spend time together. My greatest hope is that we can find a way to reconnect and build a loving, meaningful relationship again.

Please remember that I’m just a phone call or message away. If you ever want to talk or share your thoughts and feelings, I’m here to listen. Your happiness and well-being mean everything to me.

I understand that this blog post might not instantly mend the wounds between us, but I hope it can be a first step towards reconciliation. Please know that I cherish you, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be a part of your life again.

With all my love,

Dad

Sophia,
Back in April, I wrote this page about summer camp. Yeah, I know, it was already pretty late in the season at that point. Even if you wanted to go to Green Cove, it might have been too late.

Next summer, you’ll be 15 and maybe you won’t care about summer camps anymore. But, I just looked: Green Cove has programs for girls up to age 17. The summer of 2024 probably seems like a million miles away. But it’s never too early to plan something big.

Anyway, give it some thought. Please go re-read the page I made in April.

I’m trying to do what I can to contribute to your success. I wish I could do so much more. When your mother and I first started our family, I envisioned that my kids would speak at least one language other than English. I don’t mean 45-minute classes in school. I mean, REALLY speak it, fluently. I envisioned that my kids would be able to skip at least one grade in math. When I had to leave for Iraq, I was already in the process of getting Morey’s Second Grade math book from her future teachers. I was going teach her Second Grade math while she was still in First Grade, and try to eventually get her to skip a grade, at least in math.

That was the plan, anyway. I enjoy tutoring math. Anyway, sorry, I’m getting off-track. I’m just thinking about all the dreams I had once, now abandoned. I wanted very badly to have a positive influence on your life. I still want it. But there’s very little I can do from here.

Next summer, if you can’t get a passport to visit me, you might as well do something extraordinary. I have some faith that Green Cove is a great camp if you want to try it. You need to learn to be on your own. Your mother wants you to be safe. I want you to be strong. Anyone can be safe if they never leave home and never get out of bed. I want you to contend with the world and learn how to handle it.

Talk to me, Goose.

Dad