The Budget of Paradox

http://black.blue/flat/docs/pronouns.m4v

http://black.blue/fl … /docs/technology.m4v

Sophia,
I married your mom 22 years ago. It was our anniversary yesterday, but I doubt she remembers. Have you ever seen photos from our wedding? The marriage definitely had some problems, but the wedding was pretty nice. Some people later told me it was the nicest wedding they’d ever attended, including their own.

We were married by a Kahuna. Technically, she was a Kahuna Lapa‘au – a priest in the Hawaiian religion. I know “kahuna” is an overused, commercialized word on the Mainland now, mostly associated with surfing.

We were married on a beachfront property under a full moon. It was in Kekaha, just a few miles from Waimea where you were born.

Papa Bear was there. And Nana Julie. Even Nana Mamie Jo Morey was there; she was still alive and made the long journey from Lynchburg. We had hula dancers and kalua pork and poi and great music and machetes and coconuts and bubbles! You shoulda been there!

wedding

Under the full moon on the beach.

Sophia,
The fact that you were to grow up in Lynchburg wasn’t always certain. In fact, for a long time, it was unlikely. Your parents have lived in various places around the world. Due to circumstances and coincidence, things ended up like they did. Speaking for myself, I never wanted you to grow up in Lynchburg. I never had much to do with the South. As far as I was concerned, the South is a bunch of pick-up-truck-driving hillbillies who date their cousins. I mentioned this idea to your mom once. She immediately shot back: “I never dated my cousins. I had sex with them, but I never DATED them.” She was being silly and sarcastic and rubbing my nose it. Your mother had a twisted sense of humor once. And I mean that as a compliment.

Anyway, I was never convinced that Lynchburg was as great as everyone says it is. What’s really funny to me is that your mom tried to sell it as a safe place. Safer than Hawaii? Maybe a little. But certainly not safer than the places I’ve lived. I mentioned before that Abu Dhabi is nine times safer than Virginia. When Morey attended Glass High School, the school had its own murder rate. That’s unsettling.

Anyway, I’ll randomly look at the Lynchburg news from time to time. I just looked now. Guess what? Well, you might already know this. There’s a gang problem in Lynchburg. Great. That’s just great. My kids are growing up with thugs and scumbags and wanna-be gangbangers. That’s just fucking great.

Sophia,

Yes, I know, you’re not a child anymore. But you have to remember that my most recent memories of you are several years old. So, when I think of you, there are certain limitations I have to deal with.

Anyway, I mentioned this before in some other letters. There’s an actress named Iris Apatow. When you and her were both children, you looked somewhat alike. Not identical twins, for sure, but you resembled each other in many ways: curly hair, the laughter, the silliness, the attitude, the fighting with her sister.

She was a child actor who often played the younger sister of another child actor who was actually her real-life sister. They appeared together as sisters in two or three movies. And in each movie, they fight like sisters really fight. Some of their scenes were actually improvised without a script. They fight like you and Morey used to fight. That’s why I find their interaction so funny: it reminds me of my kids. Iris, the younger girl, really reminds me of you.

I think of you all the time. Someone made this mix tape video of the girls fighting in the movies, and it makes me smile.

BTW, in real life, Iris is about 20 now. She dyed her hair black and she wears far too much makeup. In interviews, she sounds like an idiot. Please don’t be an idiot with too much makeup when you’re 20. You’re better than that. Don’t break your dad’s heart.