The Budget of Paradox

Sophia, as always, thinking of you today. I was watching one of my favorite YouTube chefs and caught this little video clip. This man actually went to chef’s school, but plays a character of a swearing, screaming, sloppy, careless, fat, tattooed, clueless cook. Very often, he improvises and guesses the ingredients to his meals. When it turns out okay, he praises himself for “landing the plane”.
http://black.blue/fl … s/LandedThePlane.m4v

Do you like to cook? I’d love to cook with you someday. Your mother is a great cook; surely you’ve learned something by now.

This same chef, he even offers advice to young men; that they’re guaranteed to have successful romantic campaigns if they learn to cook his style of lasagna: https://www.youtube. … n+guaranteed+lasagna (“if you don’t like lasagna, you’re probably an idiot.”)

The world is a carnival. It takes all kinds.

Sophia, when I was in Afghanistan, I discovered a movie called Chef. I think it’s a cute little story about a father re-connecting with his child after they’ve been slowly separated for a while. It reminded me of my children. In a way, I wanted this story to be mine. In the movie, the father finds himself depressed and lonely, doubting his skills, at one point saying, “I don’t even know if I have anything left to say.”

I think the premise of the film is true: That fathers add tremendous value to their children’s lives, to teach them, to guide them, to inspire them, to love them.

What’s really strange is that I sent a DVD of this movie to Morey, but she refused to watch it for some bizarre reason. The more I pressed her to watch it, the more she refused. Finally, she told me your mother watched the movie to be sure it’s appropriate and that I wasn’t sending Morey harmful material. What a joke. Being without a father is harmful, but your mother’s crazy suspicion won’t ever see that fact. Instead, she badly wants to believe I’m hurting my own kids even when I’m trying to do the opposite.

Anyway, I posted the movie here so you could watch it, right here, right now. Watching this on your phone won’t give you the same experience as watching on a big screen. But I hope you get the idea.

https://black.blue/flat/docs/chef888.m4v

p.s. I’m not a chef. But there is plenty I can teach you. I love you, kid.

Sophia, the world made up its mind about me long ago. I don’t expect you to understand how the world works. But I do ask you to consider that every argument has two sides. This video frightens me. I wonder what you think.

Sophia, I was listening to the man in this video and realized that what's happened to you and me is not unique. Lots of kids are separated from their dads for no good reason.

Sophia, why did Morey change her name? I always liked her name, but I know she often used others. Still, it’s a little sad to see her throw away something I gave her.

“There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. ‘Mom, I’d like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.’”