The Budget of Paradox

Sophia, when I was in Afghanistan, I discovered a movie called Chef. I think it’s a cute little story about a father re-connecting with his child after they’ve been slowly separated for a while. It reminded me of my children. In a way, I wanted this story to be mine. In the movie, the father finds himself depressed and lonely, doubting his skills, at one point saying, “I don’t even know if I have anything left to say.”

I think the premise of the film is true: That fathers add tremendous value to their children’s lives, to teach them, to guide them, to inspire them, to love them.

What’s really strange is that I sent a DVD of this movie to Morey, but she refused to watch it for some bizarre reason. The more I pressed her to watch it, the more she refused. Finally, she told me your mother watched the movie to be sure it’s appropriate and that I wasn’t sending Morey harmful material. What a joke. Being without a father is harmful, but your mother’s crazy suspicion won’t ever see that fact. Instead, she badly wants to believe I’m hurting my own kids even when I’m trying to do the opposite.

Anyway, I posted the movie here so you could watch it, right here, right now. Watching this on your phone won’t give you the same experience as watching on a big screen. But I hope you get the idea.

https://black.blue/flat/docs/chef888.m4v

p.s. I’m not a chef. But there is plenty I can teach you. I love you, kid.

Sophia, the world made up its mind about me long ago. I don’t expect you to understand how the world works. But I do ask you to consider that every argument has two sides. This video frightens me. I wonder what you think.

Sophia, I was listening to the man in this video and realized that what's happened to you and me is not unique. Lots of kids are separated from their dads for no good reason.

Sophia, why did Morey change her name? I always liked her name, but I know she often used others. Still, it’s a little sad to see her throw away something I gave her.

“There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. ‘Mom, I’d like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.’”

Sophia: http://black.blue/sent … Here is a list of everything I’ve sent you in the past few years. Actually, I’m sure there are many more things I couldn’t think of.

If anyone ever tells you I abandoned you, or just walked out of your life, or just don’t care, kindly tell them they’re full of shit.