The Budget of Paradox

Sophia,
You’re taking French, right? How do you pronounce Ouagadougou? I’m not sure of the proper way to say it. My version sounds like “wag-a-DOO-goo”. Or how about Djibouti? I just say, “ja-BOOTY”.

Shitholes with interesting French names.

Did you know that more people speak French in Africa than in Europe? But from what I understand, African French sounds rough and dirty to the French. I wouldn’t doubt it.

I’m in Africa now, still getting used to it.

Dad

Sophia,
On Saturday, May 25, 2024, you’ll be exactly 15 years and six months old. You’ll be old enough to get a learner’s permit to drive in Virginia. Will you do it? I wish I was there to teach you to drive.

Get your license when you’re 16. I’ll buy you a car. Okay, an old used one. But maybe.

I wish I was there.

Dad

Sophia,

You’re absent from school today. I wish I knew why. I hope you’re okay. I’d love to call to check-in with you. I wish we could talk.

Also, I was watching a movie last night. A father who had been gone for most of his daughter’s life was teaching her to ride a bike in Paris. This scene really cut to the bone. It hurts that I can’t be with you.

Your mother and I have been on those very same steps in the movie clip. FYI, if you care.

I love you,
Dad

Sophia,

HERE is a song I was listening to earlier. It has a strange title: Sigh’s Smell of Farewell. I’m not sure it really means anything.

I’m just thinking of you today. I would love to hear from you.

Dad.

My dear Sophia,
I’m in Africa again. I would strongly prefer to be in the USA, near you, and be a part of your life. But I can’t. So, now, I just do whatever I can, even if it means being in a place like this.

It’s a shithole. But the food is pretty good. Then again, I already liked Arabic food before I got here. No one speaks English, which makes me a little lonely sometimes. I think of you all the time.

According to the schedule, I should be leaving here in October. But it’s only a quick flight to Athens or Rome from here. If you will be in Europe in the summer, I’d find a way to head out for a weekend to meet you. I’d do anything.

I wonder if you’ll ever see this message. I wonder if you think about me at all.

I love you,
dad